The writing I’ve done here has been different from the one I did on my previous blog since day one. At one point, I went through my posts and realized how much my life has changed and I began to think that I’ve changed too. Then, I realized that it isn’t that I’ve changed, it’s that I’ve gotten better at being who I am and that writing in my old blog played an important role in that. Making the choice to share the things I shared there took courage that I didn’t know I had but it was cathartic and life changing.
It helped me see things objectively and understand that I wasn’t a victim of my circumstances. In retrospect, I found that the choice to live a life that fulfilled me was one only I could make. From my own writing I could see that fear had been my defense to the things I couldn’t control but that love is the only essential reality and purpose for us being here. That what I lacked all that time that I thought I was unhappy because of the way others treated me was a genuine conviction in own my heart that I deserved better-I mean, I wanted better for myself but I didn’t know I was deserving of it.
I didn’t know that I needed to love myself first before I could love, and feel loved by anyone else. I hadn’t known that acknowledging the love within ourselves is what gives us the courage to accept it from others.
I’ve come a long way but I don’t believe we ever stop evolving. I missed out on so much on my own life in my early years that I no longer have time to waste on things that serve no purpose in relation to who I am today, and the harmony that I seek within myself. I am focused on self-awareness because that enables me to be more aware of my surroundings and to accept the love of the people who are in my life today. I’ve grown to love solitude and the more I seek it, the more I feel at peace, and the more accepting I become of others and of their choices without judgment.
I don’t impose my beliefs on anyone and I don’t take offense in anyone’s beliefs differing from mine. I wholeheartedly believe in a higher power but I don’t practice a religion or follow an established set of rules. I love nature, I find myself in it often, and I truly do believe that when we are in harmony with nature, we are one with the universe. Once we have we experienced that level of oneness, or interconnectedness, everything makes absolute sense and we lose the need to acclimate to the worlds defined parameters of what is “right” in order to feel worthy of the Divine’s love for us.
Every day, I drive past this field and it serves me as a reminder that each person that crosses my path is bearing their own struggles, which I know nothing about. So, I go on about my day making a conscious effort to keep in mind that if I cannot ease anyone’s load that day, the least I can do is to not make it any heavier than it already is…