Choices

My intention for this blog has always been to tell my story because to tell one’s story helps one understand it better. Understanding my story has helped me grow and move on from it so that I don’t remain a prisoner of it.

However, since I deleted my old blog and began this one last year, writing hasn’t been the same. I had allowed the reasons behind deleting my old blog to make me feel guarded and as though my story was no longer safeguarded from judgment here. So, I have not really written or shared as much on this blog as I had on my previous one.

That’s not to say that I have not stopped seeking understanding of my own experiences. I’ve been reading a lot and taking time to figure out what’s next for me. For a long time, my purpose was to write about the things I’ve been through in order to get clear about what I’ve learned from them but now I am ready for what is next.

I’m ready to live on purpose, to make things happen instead of living in reaction to the things that have happened to me.

At the same time that I deleted my old blog, I had just been fired from a job that I had allowed to take up a larger portion of my life than I should have. At the time, it felt unfair that it had to end that way but today I am able to understand that for my own benefit, it was the best thing that could have happened to me and I have let go of that experience-holding only onto the things that serve me.

I don’t have a career but I really do love my job and what I do because I love interacting with people, and being of service to others. However, I’ve began feeling a bit stagnant and as though by remaining in the position in which I am now, I am hindering my own progress. I’m not referring only to progress in the work sense but also as far as personal growth.

When I was fired from my previous job, I made up my mind to never again remain in a position that limits my growth in the work field or otherwise.

Next month will be my one year anniversary at my job and though I am utterly grateful for it, I am weighing my options and listening to my intuition to see what the next best thing is for me. I know that my conscience, or my intuition, is God’s way of telling me where I should go next and I am listening.

In retrospect, I  realize that my intuition has always guided me in the direction that I should go but, most of the time, I’ve been too busy reacting to the things that are happening to me to really listen to it.

So, although, I’m not sure what changes are coming my way, or if all that will change is my perspective of the things that are already in my life, I do know that whatever happens from here in any aspect of my life will be my choice rather than a reaction to someone else’s choices.

I hope you guys are having a wonderful start of the week!

-Mari

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3 thoughts on “Choices

  1. Strange how things happen sometimes. I get in my mind to drop by your place for a visit, and find that my mind is in a similar place to yours:
    “I’m ready to live on purpose, to make things happen instead of living in reaction to the things that have happened to me.”
    I’m embrassed to admit how much my life I’ve lived in reaction to circumstances. Nearly fifteen years ago, I was offered an academic scholarship to one of the state’s most respected private universities. I planned to major in English and eventually to teach college writing courses. The day before I was scheduled to start classes, my dad passed away. They offered to hold the scholarship for a semester, but I’d met my future wife around that time, and I allowed myself to become distracted. I never went back to school.
    Now, I’m attempting to correct this lapse in purpose.

    Hope you’re doing well, dear lady.

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